


Surrender

by walkalittleline



Series: Kink Therapy [4]
Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Breathplay, Exhibitionism, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-11
Updated: 2019-07-11
Packaged: 2020-06-26 16:16:39
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,325
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19771876
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/walkalittleline/pseuds/walkalittleline
Summary: Caleb would rather just forget about what happened in the tombs under Bazzoxan.





	Surrender

**Author's Note:**

> Said I would finish it before the episode and here I am with three hours to spare.

They’re all exhausted even before they begin the trek back to Bazzoxan. So much so that by the time they actually reach the city, half of them are nearly falling off of their moorbounders. Sore, depleted of spells, and down one member, they plod back into the barracks where they’d stayed when they first arrived in Bazzoxan, a heavy silence hanging over them all as they climbed up to the loft of the barracks to take the few remaining beds in the room.

“I can take first watch,” Caduceus offers tiredly as they begin to get settled. He looks nearly as bad as Fjord, bruised and bloodied, practically swaying on his feet with the effort of staying upright.

“No, Caduceus, you need your rest,” Jester says, voice thick from crying.

“Yeah, I can take first watch,” Beau agrees, “I’m not too bad. In comparison, at least,” she adds, wincing and touching her ribs gingerly.

“Alright,” Caduceus says resignedly. “Wake me up for second watch, then.” His eyes find Caleb’s across the bed they’re all lingering around, gaze weary but still sharp and significant.

“Me, too,” Caleb says.

Caduceus smiles minutely before shuffling off to collapse on one of the free beds, falling asleep almost immediately if the snuffling snores coming from him are any indication. Nott ends up taking first watch with Beau, speaking quietly to Jester as Caleb moves to take the free bed closest to Caduceus, shrugging out of his coat and draping it at the foot of the bed with the rest of his things. He curls up on his side facing Caduceus, watching the steady rise and fall of his chest, listening to the reassuring sound of his breathing and quiet snores.

He was alive. They were both alive. He tries not to think about the sight of Caduceus, terrified and trembling, blood pouring from jagged gashes across his chest and stomach, the feel of him barely conscious in his arms as he’d scooped him up and carried him out of harm’s way.

They’ve barely had time to think about anything beyond their objective and keeping themselves alive, much less been able to spare a quiet moment for the two of them to try and make good on their word of working on their relationship. There have been times when Caleb has had to stop himself from reaching for him, times when he’s felt the aching need to be close to him, to feel the warm weight of Caduceus’ arms around him again if only for the comfort they bring.

And, yes, he misses the sex, too, he’s only human, after all. As wrong as he knows it is know of all times to think it, he feels the need to be close to Caduceus. He wants to forget about the last few days entirely, let himself be swept up and drowned in the familiar smell and taste of him, make his tangled brain go blank so he can stop _thinking_ for once. When he’d walked behind him on the bridge, half-crouched and so close Caleb could feel his breath on the back of his neck, his brain unhelpfully supplying him with the memory of Caduceus towering over him in a completely different circumstance.

More than anything, though, he misses being close to Caduceus. He reaches out his hand over the space between their beds in the dark, fingers barely brushing the back of Caduceus’ hand where it’s dangling over the edge of his bed. His ear twitches and he shifts in his sleep, and Caleb moves to the very edge of the thin mattress so he can hook his fingers around Caduceus’ palm, gripping his hand loosely and smiling sleepily when Caduceus’ fingers tighten around his own seemingly automatically.

He falls asleep like that, the combination of soft murmuring from Nott and Beau and Caduceus snoring lulling him.

He jolts awake to Nott shaking his shoulder gently, informing him that it’s time for his watch. Sitting up and blinking groggily, he can hear Beau waking Caduceus a few feet away. He sits up and scrubs sleep from his eyes with his knuckles, yawning.

“Take my bed,” he mumbles to Nott when he sees the rest of the beds are occupied.

“Where will you sleep when you’re done?” Nott says, frowning even as she climbs up onto the bed next to him.

“I will figure it out,” he mutters, eyes fixed on Caduceus where he’s pushing himself to a sitting position, wincing and rubbing at his back. He turns back to Nott and pats her absently on the shoulder. “Get some sleep, yeah?”

“Okay,” Nott says quietly, crawling under the covers and rolling onto her side when Caleb stands and moves towards Caduceus where he’s still seated on the edge of his bed, Beau walking away towards her own bed as he approaches.

Caduceus turns towards his footsteps, smiling but still looking worse for wear. His clothes are soaked through with blood in spots, dark stains across the delicate white fabric of his shirt.

“Hey,” he says quietly as Caleb sinks onto the bed next to him. “How are y—”

He’s cut short as Caleb cranes his neck up to kiss him, firm and desperate in his need to feel the warmth of Caduceus’ skin against his own, the assurance that he’s alive, that his blood is still thrumming steady through his veins. Caduceus makes a soft, bewildered sound but kisses him back nevertheless, his hand finding Caleb’s where it’s resting on his thigh and curling around his fingers. He smiles a familiar, lazy grin when Caleb pulls away, his other hand lifting to brush his thumb over his jaw and rest on the side of his neck.

“How are you feeling?” Caleb says worriedly, glancing down at the dark splotches on his shirt, starkly visible even in the dim light.

“I’ll be fine,” Caduceus replies with a shake of his head. “I’m not dead, at least,” he adds, smile widening.

“Stop,” Caleb says, feeling the crack in his voice as he says it. He shakes his head, looking down at their loosely clasped hands.

“Hey,” Caduceus says gently, running his thumb over the line of his jaw. “Everything’s okay.”

“How can you say that?” Caleb snaps. “After what happened? Fjord almost died, _you_ almost died, Yasha is _gone_ , how can you…”

“Caleb.”

Caleb closes his eyes, hating a little how much the sound of his name in Caduceus’ soft voice calms him down. He feels like he’s been on the verge of panic since they left Yasha behind, was pulled even closer seeing even Caduceus become emotional. But he’s returned to his usual calm self, like a wide river passing over rapids before becoming smooth and glassy again.

“I’m alive,” Caduceus continues quietly. “You’re alive. We’re all alive and we’re going to figure this out starting tomorrow.”

“I just want to forget all of this happened,” Caleb mutters, sweeping his hand absently through his hair and grimacing at the feel of dried blood he’s not even sure is his own caked through it. He turns to look up at Caduceus and tightens his fingers around his hand. “I want to _forget_ about it, Caduceus. Please.”

Caduceus frowns in momentary confusion before his eyebrows lift slightly in understanding.

“Oh, um,” he glances around the room at the occupied beds full of their friends and strangers, all fast asleep, the only noise the rush of the wind against the roof and rattling the walls. “Caleb, are you sure you—“

“I miss you,” Caleb breathes, shifting closer to him so their sides are pressed together. “I thought things were going to change but it’s been _weeks_ and we have barely spoken. I need this. I need _you_. Please, Caduceus.” He wets his lips. “If you do not want to, I understand, but I—”

“I didn’t say I didn’t want to,” Caduceus says quietly. He releases Caleb’s hand so he can cup his face carefully, his hands broad and warm against his skin. “I miss you, too. I could… I could smell you down there. You smelled so scared. I hated it.” He rests his forehead against Caleb’s. His nostrils flare and Caleb hears him inhale through his nose. “You still smell scared.”

“I am scared,” Caleb admits. No point in trying to hide it when Caduceus can literally smell the fear on him. “I am scared of losing you again. I know you were trying to protect me down there but I cannot let you do that again after what happened.”

“Let me?” Caduceus says, chuckling. “Caleb, you can’t stop me from trying to protect you any more than I can stop you from trying to protect me.” He looks suddenly shy, pleased, the tips of his ears and his cheeks flushing. “You’re my mate, remember?”

Something swells happily in Caleb’s chest at this and he can’t stop himself from smiling.

“I am,” he whispers. He tilts his head up to kiss him again, softer this time, and Caduceus practically melts against him.

“Can you take your shirt off?” he says, thumbing at the hem of Caduceus’ tunic. He helps him peel it over his head when he grimaces and clutches his stomach as he pulls it off.

“Not looking forward to fixing that,” Caduceus says sadly, examining the tears in his shirt where his armor hadn’t been able to protect him or been pierced through entirely, the delicate silk dark with dried blood.

Caleb feels a sickening lurch in his stomach at the sight of the dark bruising littering his chest, the jagged, partially healed slashes on his stomach. He wants to ask Caduceus if he has anything left to heal himself with just so he doesn’t have to see him like this but he knows he won’t.

“I’ll deal with that in a minute,” he mumbles, crawling into the bed to sit behind Caduceus and settling his hands on his shoulders. He kneads his fingers gently into the tense muscle, smiling when Caduceus makes a soft, pleased noise and tilts his head forward.

“That’s nice,” Caduceus sighs, slumping his shoulders a little as Caleb continues rubbing them carefully. He mutters a few arcane words under his breath and his fingers become slick against Caduceus’ skin, easing the glide of his fingers down his back.

“Modified grease spell,” he explains when Caduceus starts and gives him a confused look over his shoulder.

Caduceus makes a disbelieving sound in his throat, shaking his head a little.

“Imagine that could come in handy,” he says, eyes drifting shut contentedly when Caleb digs his thumbs into a knot in his back.

“Feeling better?” Caleb whsipers, brushing Caduceus’ hair over one shoulder so he can kiss along the nape of his neck.

Caduceus hums in response, rolling his shoulders back and twisting his head to give Caleb a lazy smile.

“Will you lie down for me?” Caleb murmurs. “Not like that. Not yet,” he adds when Caduceus laughs quietly. “We have time. None of them are waking up any time soon.” He gestures to the others curled up fast asleep in their beds, Beau snoring even louder than Caduceus had been.

Caduceus makes a noise of affirmation and does as he’s told, stretching out on his back with his legs bent slightly so they’re not hanging off the bed. Caleb stands and moves to rummage through his pack to get his water skein and a passably clean piece of cloth, wetting the cloth and turning it over in his hands, his fingers flickering with just enough low flame to warm the cool fabric.

He gingerly straddles Caduceus’ hips, careful not to brush against the worst of the wounds, and sets about daubing dried blood from his skin, the cloth steadily turning a deep brown-red as he does. 

The cuts don’t look nearly as bad once he wipes the blood clean from them, the skin magically sealed and rough scar tissue already beginning to form over the worst of it. The bruising is still dark and yellowing, though, angry purple against Caduceus’ pale skin, and making him suck breath through his teeth with Caleb ghosts his fingers over it.

“Sorry,” Caleb mumbles. He lowers his head to brush his lips apologetically over the spot in the shade of a kiss, smiling when Caduceus’ fingers comb through his hair. He lifts his head and braces his hands on either side of Caduceus’ head so he can press their lips together, kissing him unhurriedly, enjoying the softness of his lips. Caduceus’ other hand comes to rest on his thigh, sliding up and down it in an almost automatic motion.

“When we were down there,” Caduceus murmurs against his lips, his hand sliding up to Caleb’s hip. “I didn’t just smell that you were afraid. On the bridge. I thought I smelled… was I imagining it?”

“No,” Caleb breathes, too aroused to be humiliated, “no, you weren’t. You were so close. All I could think about was you getting even closer. And when you held me… you’re much stronger than you look.”

“Oh?” Caduceus grins, his hand tightening on Caleb’s hip.

“Mm,” Caleb hums, shifting his weight so his groin is pressed against Caduceus’. He can feel him half hard under him and it takes everything not to grind down against him. “I imagined you holding me down. I want you to hold me down. I want you to make me forget. I want to fill my head with you until I can think of nothing else.”

He kisses him hungrily and Caduceus groans into his mouth, fingers tangling in the hair at the base of his skull and pulling him closer. It’s not rushed, but there’s still a frantic need to the kiss that makes Caleb’s head spin. Caduceus kisses him with the same deliberate intensity he has before, but the want is beyond just sex now after today, after everything.

Caduceus’ arm wraps around his waist and pulls him down against him so their bodies are pressed together, Caleb’s arms buckling under him as he collapses onto Caduceus’ chest. Caleb hears the muffled grunt of pain but Caduceus holds him close when he tries to break away out of concern. Caduceus slides his hand down the back of Caleb’s breeches and presses his hips down as he rocks his own hips up against him.

Caleb moans brokenly at the friction before he can stop himself, the sound filling the space around them so loudly they both freeze, breathing hard and waiting for ten torturous seconds. Beau snuffles loudly and rolls over in her sleep but otherwise there’s no reaction and they both breathe a quiet sigh of relief.

“Shh,” Caduceus whispers, holding a finger to Caleb’s lips.

“Sorry,” Caleb mouths guiltily, though Caduceus merely smiles and kisses him again, his fingertips rubbing circles at the nape of his neck that make him sag against him contentedly.

Caduceus rolls his hips up again lazily, the friction sending heat bubbling up inside him like a low, roiling flame.

“ _Caduceus_ ,” he whines, grinding down to chase the feeling, not really caring how needy he sounds right now. He’s sore and exhausted, still hazy from sleep and aching to be close to him again. He needs to drown everything else out and block his brain off from thinking about, from _feeling_ anything else.

“Shh,” Caduceus shushes him again, this time pressing his hand over Caleb’s mouth entirely. “We can’t wake the others.”

Caleb nods, mumbling a muffled apology into his palm.

“Can you be quiet?” Caduceus whispers, still not removing his hand. It’s warm and just barely damp with sweat against his lips, so large his thumb hooks under his chin, his fingertips brushing his jaw.

Caleb nods mutely, pauses, then shakes his head. He’s never been very good at keeping silent during their times in bed together, still wonders how many people must have heard him in Rosohna when even he didn’t know how loud he was being.

“Do you need me to help you be quiet?” Caduceus asks carefully, his fingers clamped firmly over Caleb’s mouth.

Caleb nods eagerly, thrilling at the thought. He can just make out Caduceus’ face in the darkness, see his eyes sweep over him in consideration.

“Alright,” he says at last, pulling his hand away from Caleb’s mouth. “I need to sit up.”

Caleb clambers off of him as silently as possible, taking the opportunity to shed the rest of his clothes, wrapping his arms around himself when goosebumps erupt across his skin in the cold.

“Come here,” Caduceus whispers, gesturing for him to get back on the bed once he’s pushed himself into a sitting position, his legs folded under him.

Caleb begins to climb back on the bed facing him but Caduceus shakes his head, sweeping his finger in a circle to indicate for Caleb to turn around. Caleb obeys, frowning in confusion. He inhales sharply when Caduceus crowds his back, his breath warm on the back of his ear and his chest pressed against his shoulders.

“Is this what you were thinking about?” Caduceus murmurs in his ear. “On the bridge?”

“Yes,” Caleb breathes, closing his eyes and biting his bottom lip hard to keep silent when Caduceus wraps his arms around him from behind, one hand loosely curling around his cock.

“I’m going to help you be quiet now, okay?” Caduceus whispers.

Caleb nods, leaning back into his hold. Caduceus’ hand covers his mouth again, pressing hard over his lips, the top of his index finger nearly cutting off the hard exhale he breathes through his nose.

“If it’s too much,” Caduceus murmurs, “pull on my wrist and I’ll stop. Okay?”

Caleb nods again and Caduceus kisses his ear as he begins to lazily pump at Caleb’s cock.

“I _have_ missed you, you know,” Caduceus whispers, “I missed kissing you and holding you. When you almost fell on the way here I felt sick. I’ve never been so scared as I was then, Caleb. I could smell death on you and I couldn’t even be close to you afterwards and I hated it.

“It’s been so hard not to just lie next to you each night and hold you. I miss your scent. I forgot how good you smelled.” He buries his face in the side of Caleb’s neck and breathes in deeply, groaning quietly and grinding his erection into Caleb’s lower back. He’s still half-dressed, and Caleb feels like he’s on display, naked and moaning into Caduceus’ palm in a room full of people that could wake up at any moment.

Caduceus pulls his hand away and Caleb whines, straining his eyes and twisting his head to the side as much as he can with Caduceus holding it in place, watching him suck two fingers into his mouth to wet them before reaching back between them to run his slick fingers over Caleb’s hole. Caleb shivers and jerks his hips back into the touch, spine arching.

“I miss your taste, too,” Caduceus continues, voice low and rough in Caleb’s ear as he presses one finger smoothly inside him. “The way you open so well up for my tongue and fingers. I love it, Caleb. I love you.”

Caleb whimpers, eyes widening at the declaration. He sucks in quick, shallow breaths as best he can with his airways half covered and blocked by Caduceus’ hand, feeling vaguely dizzy with the combination of pleasure and lack of oxygen.

“I love you,” Caduceus repeats, thrusting two fingers inside Caleb now, slow, measured movements that make his legs tremble under him and his head loll back against Caduceus’ shoulder.

He reaches up to wrap his hand around Caduceus’ wrist, tugging on it lightly and turning his head towards Caduceus as soon as his grip loosens.

“I love you, too,” he breathes, catching Caduceus’ lips in a rough, greedy kiss, moaning lowly when Caduceus’ fingers curl inside of him. He’s panting hard, gulping down lungfuls of air between uncoordinated kisses, the angle a little awkward with his head tilted back and Caduceus twisting down to meet him.

“I want you to fuck me. Caduceus, I _need_ you to fuck me.”

Caduceus groans against his lips, his fingers thrusting roughly into him and his clothed erection digging into his back.

“Here,” Caleb murmurs, mumbling under his breath again and reaching behind him to wriggle his hand into Caduceus breeches and wrap his now slick fingers around Caduceus’ erection, Caduceus gasping quietly at the touch. He kisses Caleb briefly again before slipping his fingers free and shoving his trousers down his hips just enough to pull out his erection.

“Ah, wait,” Caleb whispers when Caduceus shifts forward and rubs the head of his cock over his perineum. Caduceus gives him a curious look and Caleb gestures to his mouth.

“Oh, right,” Caduceus mumbles. He kisses Caleb one final time before turning his head forward and covering the bottom half of his face with his hand again, his thumb stroking across the ridge of Caleb’s cheekbone. Caleb closes his eyes and wills himself to relax when he feels Caduceus’ cock pushing into him slowly, carefully.

He groans into Caduceus’ palm, eyes rolling back at the burning stretch of muscle as he fills him up. It’s been far too long since the last time they did this, his body already forgetting the feel of just how big he was inside of him. Dull pain rolls across his hips and he reaches back to thread his fingers through Caduceus’ hair, holding onto him to brace himself as he sinks into him completely. He can hear his own harsh breath rushing through his nose with each exhale, shaky and ragged in the quiet of the room.

“You’re still too loud,” Caduceus breathes in his ear, clamping his fingers even tighter over Caleb’s mouth. “Do you want them all to wake up and see us like this?”

Caleb groans at the thought of it, nearly nods his head at the idea of a stranger waking up to see him being held and fucked by Caduceus. It makes his cock throb and drip onto the bed. But he shakes his head regardless, whimpering softly when Caduceus begins thrusting lazily into him, almost painfully slow as he drags out and slides back in like he plans on stretching this out for hours. Caleb wishes he could.

Caduceus' free hand slides up Caleb’s chest and comes to rest over his throat, not pressing down but still large and warm against his sweaty skin.

“Do you need me to take control from you again, Caleb?” he murmurs, his fingers twitching around his throat, barely a flutter of pressure on his windpipe, though it’s still enough to make him shudder in anticipation.

He nods against the hand pressed to his lips, fingers digging into Caduceus’ scalp and head tilting back to give him easy access to his throat.

“The second it’s too much,” Caduceus says, that warm gentleness seeping through his voice, “let me know, okay? Can you nod if you understand, Caleb?”

Caleb nods, whining impatiently, and Caduceus’ fingers squeeze gently around his throat. His hand is so large it wraps halfway around his neck, easily compressing his airway. He doesn’t cut off his windpipe entirely, but it’s enough that it only takes a few sharp breaths, already inhibited by Caduceus’ other hand over his mouth, to make him start to feel lightheaded with how little oxygen he’s getting.

Caduceus thrusts into him harder and he tries to groan, the sound rasping weakly and dying in his throat, a choked noise burbling up and muffling against Caduceus’ palm. It’s like nothing else he’s ever experienced, the thrill of fear tamped down by his trust for Caduceus, the steady crash and swell of pleasure as he fucks him, still slow but with hard snaps of his hips that make heat bloom rapidly across his groin.

He swallows with difficulty, his throat working against the fingers tightening gradually around his neck. Caduceus’ breath is hot and damp in his ear, heavy pants and soft grunts each time his hips roll forward. His arms are wrapped fully around Caleb at this point, practically embracing him from behind almost lovingly. It reminds Caleb of how he’d curled his arms around him on the bridge, how easily he’d enveloped and controlled him until the temporary madness had passed.

“That’s better,” Caduceus breathes, his thumb rubbing over the crook of Caleb’s jaw. “You’re doing so well, Caleb. _Mm_ , you feel so good, you know that? So tight and, _ah,_ so warm. I can’t touch you right now, can you touch yourself for me? Give me your hand.”

Caleb nods and lifts his hand over his shoulder, arm weak and trembling, Caduceus’ broad tongue stroking wetly across his palm and fingers a few times to slick his skin. He kisses Caleb’s palm and noses at it gently and Caleb lowers his hand to wrap around himself, releasing a strangled moan as his shaking fingers slide over his cock.

“Good,” Caduceus whispers, kissing over the side of Caleb’s neck along his ear. “Don’t stop, Caleb. You look incredible right now. I wish you could see yourself. And your smell.” He makes a low, growling sound in his throat against Caleb’s skin, breathing in through his nose and exhaling a hot rush of air against Caleb’s skin. “You smell so good, it makes me dizzy. You’re getting close, aren’t you? I can smell it.”

His arms tighten around Caleb and his fingers squeeze more firmly around his throat. He can barely draw breath now, each shallow rasp of air scraping in his windpipe, his head swimming from lack of oxygen. Caduceus thrusts harder into him, his breath coming in labored, unsteady pants against Caleb’s skin.

“Come on, Caleb,” he murmurs. “You’re doing so well. Come on, now. Keep moving your hand for me.”

Caleb automatically pumps his fist loosely around his cock, barely paying attention to anything beyond the sound of Caduceus’ voice in his ear and his hands on his throat and mouth. Darkness begins to creep around the edge of his vision and his eyes fall shut so he can focus on the pulse of heat in his gut each time Caduceus sinks into him. He lets out a feeble, squeaking whine and swallows against Caduceus’ palm, his body jerking against his hold as he comes across the bed and his own fingers, warmth dripping over his hand and sliding down his wrist.

“That’s it,” Caduceus breathes, the sharp snap of his hips becoming uneven. His fingers curl so tight around Caleb’s neck he can’t do more than make a choked, gurgling noise in the back of his throat when Caduceus buries his face in his shoulder, grunting softly as the slide of his cock becomes suddenly easier, slick come leaking out and trickling down Caleb’s thigh.

The pressure is gone suddenly from Caleb’s throat and mouth and he inhales a deep lungful of air that grates down his throat so rapidly he nearly collapses with how lightheaded he feels. It comes back up immediately as he falls forward on the bed, coughing and wheezing painfully, his throat aching and burning.

“It’s okay, you’re okay,” Caduceus whispers, hands catching Caleb around the middle to keep him from falling off the bed entirely and helping him turn around to pull him gently against his chest.

“Shh, it’s okay,” he repeats, Caleb burying his face in his chest to try and muffle some of the coughing. He pets one hand soothingly down Caleb’s spine, holding him close until his coughing quiets and his breathing begins to return to normal.

“Are you okay?” he says quietly, brushing his fingers over Caleb’s neck with a worried look. “It wasn’t too much, was it?”

“Mm, no,” Caleb replies, his voice small and weak and scratchy. He swallows, wincing at how much it makes his throat sting, and smiles reassuringly up at him. “It was good. You are good at that.”

Caduceus seems to sag in relief, smiling bashfully at the compliment. Caleb clears his throat and rubs at his sore neck ruefully.

“Water,” Caduceus murmurs, leaning over the side of the bed to scoop up Caleb’s abandoned water skein. He helps him gulp some of it down slowly, looking guilty when Caleb is struck by another coughing fit.

“I hurt you,” he mutters. He traces his fingertips lightly over what Caleb is sure is darkly bruised skin just over his windpipe. “Are you sure you’re okay?”

“ _Ja_ ,” Caleb whispers. “I promise.”

Caduceus still looked faintly hesitant but doesn’t press him further, instead cautiously continuing to brush his fingers over Caleb’s neck. His fingertips glow faintly, eyes sliding shut as he mutters something softly, and Caleb feels the warmth of healing magic spread over his throat, some of the pain receding from it. His touch roams to Caleb’s collarbones then over the curve of his shoulders and down his arms before he takes Caleb’s hands in his own.

“Did you mean what you said?” he says softly, gaze apprehensive but hopeful in the dim light. “That… that you love me, too?”

“Of course I did,” Caleb replies, smiling and tilting his head up to kiss him gently. “I love you, Caduceus.”

Caduceus smiles against his lips. “I love you, Caleb.”

That same bloom of affection grows in Caleb’s chest and he allows himself another minute or two of just exchanging languid kisses with him before the cool air sends a shiver up his back.

“You can sleep with me, if you want?” Caduceus says in that same hopeful tone. “I’ll wake up Fjord for third watch. Jester could probably use some more sleep.”

“Okay,” Caleb says. His voice is barely a whisper from the abuse on his throat. He’s not looking forward to thinking up an explanation for the rest of the group in the morning when they inevitably ask.

They tug on the underclothes and cram next to each other on the small bed, avoiding the now tacky mess towards the bottom of the bed. Caduceus pulls Caleb against his chest, smiling into his hair when Caleb ticks his head under his chin with a contented sigh.

“I’ll stay up to wake Fjord,” Caduceus murmurs, the slow trace of his fingers up and down Caleb’s spine already making his eyes droop. “You can sleep.”

Caleb hums and curls closer towards him, the methodical sweep of his hand over his back rapidly lulling him to sleep.

He’s shaken awake with a start some time the next morning, the light filtering through the grimy windows still pale and bleak and telling him it’s very early.

“What’s wrong?” he mutters groggily up at Fjord, who’s leaning over him, his hand still on his shoulder. His throat aches with each word, voice scraping out of him like stones grinding together.

“Waking everyone up so we can talk about yesterday,” Fjord replies gruffly.

Caleb sits up, blinking blearily around at the rest of their group still fast asleep, including Caduceus, who’s stretched out next to him on the narrow bed snoring quietly, one arm slung around his middle.

“Ah,” Caleb says, heat needling up the back of his neck and over his cheeks.

“Don’t worry about it,” Fjord says hastily, withdrawing his hand from Caleb and straightening up. He clears his throat awkwardly. “But, um, Caleb?”

“Hm?”

“Maybe just… keep in mind… some of us can see in the dark, you know.” He claps Caleb stiffly on the shoulder and turns to wake Nott, his cheeks flushed dark.

Caleb feels the color drain cold from his face so quickly he barely notices Caduceus stirring next to him.

“Mm, everyone else getting up?” he murmurs, sitting up and absently scratching his collarbone, his hair sticking up on end in spots. He yawns widely and gives Caleb a sleepy smile, frowning at the look on his face. “What's wrong?”

“I’ll tell you later,” Caleb mutters.


End file.
